Monday, January 28, 2013

Good Ideas Gone Bad

Have you ever had a good idea that turned out badly?   When the idea popped into your head, it seemed like the most natural thing to do.  But, when you put it into action, you realized it was the most stupid, honestly dumb thing you have ever done?  I have done this.  And I believe that most of us humans have done this.  Maybe not to the degree that I have done this, however.
My idea was to tie my daughter Erin’s big wheel to the collar of my 100 pound collie-shepherd.  Now, that does not sound so bad, until you realize that the object of this exercise was to sit little two-year old Erin in the seat of the big wheel while my 100 pound collie-shepherd, App, pulled her.  Somehow it never occurred to me that App would do anything other than walk along pulling little Erin, who would be laughing and enjoying herself.  It is here that I have to interject to say that her mother was nowhere around.  She was in the house making the enormous (and erroneous) assumption that her precious daughter was being well taken care of and protected by her loving father.
Well, needless to say, no sooner than I sat little Erin down on the seat of the big wheel, App spotted a cat across the street.  I saw his ears perk up and the hair on his neck rise and that is when I suddenly realized that this was not a good idea; that it was a stupid and honestly dumb idea and that I should never in a million years had done what I had done.
But, it was too late.  The big wheel was tied.  Erin was behind the wheel.  And App was in motion; fast motion.  But I was moving in slow motion.  It was like I was having one of those dreams where I am chasing something but I cannot move and the thing I am chasing is moving in fast motion.  I was reaching for App, and I could see my hand moving slowly while App started his huge, powerful, muscular, beautiful, horrible, terrible sprint.  At the bottom of the yard, I saw the big wheel begin to turn sideways and Erin falling out.  Again, I ran to Erin in slow motion, reaching her after running a marathon in my mind, all the while looking at App crossing the street, big wheel bouncing along, cat running ahead of him.
Erin was crying as I reached her and picked her up, holding her close.  I took her inside to her mother’s arms.  “What is wrong?” she asked.  And I said, “You’ll never believe what I thought was a good idea.”

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